Hello friends, Rawan here. In this post, I’ll share about my personal experience with PTSD and how I became a painter with a purpose. This post may be a trigger for you. If so, then I encourage you to save this post for a time that you’re able to recognize your emotions in a safe space.
In all honesty, which is what we aim for at The Art Spread, putting these thoughts to writing is very hard for me to do…maybe that’s why I paint my life experiences instead? Nonetheless, I’m here to share and support you, your friend, your parent, or partner in the journey with PTSD.
What is PTSD?
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a mental health condition that derives from experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. PTSD may be temporary. For many, it is a lifelong condition because the body becomes stuck in trauma. This rewires the brain and nervous system which makes healing extremely difficult. I mentioned the word trigger early in this article as a warning. To clarify, a trigger is something that can bring back memories of the trauma. Though they can be helpful, some articles and conversations around PTSD can provoke intense emotional and physical reactions. This is sometimes why we avoid seeking help and opening up to a trusted friend.
Though they can be helpful, some articles and conversations around PTSD can provoke intense emotional and physical reactions. This is sometimes why we avoid seeking help and opening up to a trusted friend. In my own version, I felt alone, scared, lost, and helpless. I did find a therapist whose approach was gentle and sensitive to my mental state. I was also fortunate enough to have parents who cared for me in every way they could. Even so, I didn’t feel it wasn’t something I could share with them. The Middle-Eastern culture doesn’t quite recognize or discuss mental illness. Another reason why I felt too embarrassed to share about my instability was because my father was a soldier and my family fled from country to country as refugees seeking asylum. How could I begin to share about my problems to people whose lives were constantly threatened?
I came up with so many excuses as to why I should feel embarrassed by this. Sound familiar? Eventually, I realized that I wasn’t as alone as I thought. There is a world filled with people who suffer from pain and trauma. I just had to share about mine to find out about others.
Paint the Pain
Hearing about others with PTSD wasn’t enough. I needed something to do with my pain. I needed to paint it. I created a sort of alias through Project TheraPaint, my art blog.
This allowed me to showcase my art and share my story without exposing too much of myself. You see, I still struggle with associating myself with any of the mental and physical conditions I’m diagnosed with. It’s part of my new world that I’m still trying to understand.
It is 7 years since my traumatic accident and I still find myself wanting to hide behind the canvas sometimes. I especially feel that way when I have to explain myself and why I have limitations since I “look normal”. I begin to recall the hit, the way it’s completely changed my life, and the person I’ve become because of it. Uncontrollably, I begin to shiver. The more I recall it, the more my body seems to fight. I’m stuck in fight or flight mode.
You might be wondering why I’m sharing all of this if it sends me into a shiver. I share because I care. I know what it’s like to have your hopes destroyed and your sense of worth ripped away. Through all that I’ve seen in life, I’ve learned that there is always an opportunity for something better. Sometimes the victimized state of mind seems easier. Life has proven that most of the time, the hard thing is the better thing – for ourselves and for our society.
So, I’m choosing the hard thing. I choose to let you see into the many layers and hues of my journey. You can choose to criticize and judge or, you can choose to join me and support others going through their own version of trauma. Like my other work, this painting is a glimpse into my life. I call it, ‘Shiver’…and now you might understand it better.
This painting is a reminder that I can suffer over and over again but what I make of that pain can become something as beautiful as expressive art.
Surviving PTSD
Painting helps me cope with my mental conditions such as, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 
For you, that might not be the case so I’ve put together a list of methods that you might be able to put into practice. Living in 2021, we have more opportunities for making connections and finding strategies than ever before. Here are 8 coping methods to start with:
1. Understand your triggers and what you’ll need in order to treat your mind/body’s reaction as best as possible.
2. Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings to record when and why you feel negative symptoms vs. positive sensations.
3. Avoid prolonged isolation and connect with others for comfort and recreation virtually or in person.
4. Explore Cognitive Behavioral Therapy / Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing treatments.
5. Talk/Message with a PTSD psychotherapist and ask for applicable methods to use regularly.
6. Join an online community that offers a supportive environment and is readily available for sharing.
7. Help others through volunteering programs and outdoor community building events.
8. Focus on breathing exercises, rest, and be patient with yourself.
Here’s a resource for more information. Remember, The Art Spread is a direct source for sharing your story through art. You can also join the monthly events to hear others share, learn about creative outlets, and other tools to help with mental challenges.
Have you found something that helps you cope with PTSD? Share it in the comments below for us to try out!
This is an awesome read, Rawan. Thank you for sharing an experience relevant for many others in our community.
Rawan, thank you for sharing this. It is so great to see how your emotions are pouring into your art. That is why I love buying your art pieces.
This is a wonderful post. Continue to share your stories and spreading awareness. I look forward to future post.
Xo, Shaun