Grieving is natural. Let yourself feel it.
Grieving is natural to losing a loved one, friend, love of your life, loss of a pet, or loss of goals.
Normally, we are not taught how to deal with grief. It is something we experience when the moment happens. We feel lost, afraid, angry, numb or confused. We feel guilt and sometimes blame ourselves for the loss.
So how do we work past grief? How long does grief last? Is there a set time when we are supposed to have gotten over it? What does society expect? What do our jobs and careers expect of us after we experience loss?
This post will hopefully guide you through grief and answer some of the above questions. We also welcome comments, suggestions and insight from our readers.
We can work past grief by allowing ourselves to grieve. To “properly” grieve, (if there is a proper way), let yourself feel. Feel the heartache, sadness and distraught. It is important to not ignore how you feel and replace it with something else. You cannot distract yourself from grief by replacing it with an unhealthy habit or unhealthy focus on something.
Grief lasts. It can last from a few months to a few years. It can last forever. Do not feel like it should expire after a set time. But as time passes, time heals. Try to not let the good around you slip away. If you can open yourself to time’s healing powers, you will see strength and growth.
Always remember no matter what, life will get better. It will require your strength and drive to work through the emotions. It will make you a stronger, more empathetic and understanding person.
Your work should be compassionate to your loss, if you tell them. If they are not, request at least a day off to allow yourself a break. If you feel like working is more efficient for you, keep working and do what feels right for you.
Loneliness itself can cause grief or make grief much worse. When you feel that way, here are some tips:
1. Read a fiction book, it will take you into a separate world you can get lost in. It can expand your mind and take it away from feeling lonely into building relationships with characters experiencing similar situations. Now, I am reading “The Stand,” and highly recommend.
2. Create a relaxing atmosphere. I like to turn on my $15 amazon diffuser, light up some candles I bought on sale from Bath and Body Works, and just enjoy the serenity.
3. See a therapist. My psychologist has changed my life, from poor habits in handling grief and loneliness to productive, meditative techniques.
4. Create art that expresses how you feel. It could be writing a letter to a close friend, painting, writing to yourself or making music.
5. Reach out to people. Nothing makes a bigger difference than knowing you are not alone. So reach out to old friends. Facetime or have coffee with a friend you have not talked to in some time. It could really help them in ways you could not imagine.
We are always here if you need to talk. Call me, email me or DM @the.art.spread.
Your suggestion number one is great. Reading expands your mind, imagination, vocabulary, and awareness. I believe reading, whether fiction, non-fiction, magazines, or comic books/graphic novels, is the most important thing to deal with stress, grief, sorrow, or just “bad thoughts.” I would also suggest exercise. That has helped my through some very tough times. Keep up the good work guys. Spread the art!
Hi John Doe – we are so happy you read our post and can relate. Reading has really helped me, as you so eloquently stated, overcome grief. The Stand is a great one to read. I also agree with your comment about exercise. Check out our post on Mental Health Awareness, where I highlight simple exercise that improve mood and emotions. Thank you for your continued support!
Thanks for sharing such an informative post. I personally have also felt grief losing my dad at a young age. Over time I have realized that time does heal but there is no set time. It can take one person a day to overcome their grief and another years. All the mentioned tips in the blog are great but for me I have found that meditation is the most effective way for me to fight the thoughts in my head and be able to move forward.
Thank you for sharing your story PG. We are sorry about the loss of your dad and appreciate you sharing how time has helped you heal. Time is powerful. Meditation is also powerful and cathartic to clear our minds. Thank you for the tips. Feel free to check out our mental health awareness blog, where we also talk about the release we experience through meditation.
Thank you for writing this. I feel like I’m not the only one in my own head, searching for the “right” way to grieve. It’s comforting in a strange way to know that there isn’t a time limit on grieving and that I’m allowed to feel the way I do for as long as I need to. Your #4 tip is my favorite. Creating art through painting and writing has truly helped me express myself in ways I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to. Painting is my go-to safe space but there are times when I need more connection. Sometimes, I visit my father’s grave site and sit with him. I spend time near him and just talk to him or even write to him about my day and about who else is missing him. It feels strange at first but it’s one way I feel closer to him.
Thank you Rawan. The best art can be created through our darkest emotions. Your pieces inspire conversation about difficult topics and have helped me open up about things that I have been silent on for years. Thank you for painting art that gives me the opportunity to become more vocal.
I won’t be able to be at the event to share my experiences with grief, but I can most certainly relate to #5. As you’ll hear about my toughest times on Saturday from my Sister, people played a vital role at the time, and still do to this day, when it comes to grieving. I personally need to be around people where I can have conversation and not be in my own thoughts. It is a bonus to be with people that also knew the one that I am grieving as well. They may be grieving too.
Thank you for sharing Teo. It is so important to schedule activities and be around people. Sometimes, being alone in grief can be good. But it should not always be this way. We need to surround ourselves with positive people and a purpose to help overcome grief, sorrow and anger. We appreciate you sharing and want you to know that you are always supported by us here at The Art Spread.